The Right of Statement
by IllogicalIsLogic
Summary: Admiral Jarok reflects on his dealings in the past few days and his betrayal of all he believes in and tries to come to terms with his betrayal. This is based on the Star Trek:TNG episode "The Defector".


I was really impressed with the Star Trek episode "The Defector" because I thought its premise was very interesting. A Romulan defector!? Never! I hope I did justice to Jarok. Please feel free to inform me of any Star Trek mess ups and I hope you like it!

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Admiral Alidar Jarok stood, alone, his eyes fixed at the stars outside the window of his temporary quarters.

The stars were out of focus as Jarok's eyes misted in tears, tears no Romulan should be proud to shed, but he let them fall.

He had given it all up, all of it for this and now his wife, his daughter, his home, Romulus, his life, even his loyalty were gone and for nothing.

He was a fool to have thought that anything was more important then the Romulan Empire, but then his daughter's face came into view and he could see her first smile breaking across her smooth, gentle face.

The stars swam before his eyes as the image appeared and the old Romulan adage caught in his throat. 

_Romulan's do not cry_ he thought. He was a warrior. It was weak of him to allow the tears to struggle in his eyes, but he was no Romulan.

He was a traitor, kindred of his people no longer. He was with the humans now and among them it was acceptable to cry, acceptable to face defeat, acceptable to admit failure, acceptable to change your loyalties.

"_I did it for nothing. My home, my family; for nothing._"

The words rang in his head, his mantra for the past hours singing his failure. Jarok closed his eyes then and forced the tears back.

He may be with the humans, but he was not one of them, and on that thought his hand clenched around the slim orange disk he had kept hidden in his shin high boot.

He would never see Romulus again, never seen his wife or child again, but at least he could die as his heritage dictated.

He raised the small, circular chip to his eyes, holding it before the stars. He may no longer be on Romulus, but he would die like a Romulan, by his own hand.

He scanned the room until he found the note pad. It would serve to leave a message, a message that might one day be delivered to his wife and child.

His fingers trembled as he wrote in the words, as he explained his acts to his wife and daughter.

…do not think it was of lack of loyalty my wife, but rather loyalty to a higher cause. My daughter, her children and all those who will someday live in this world we leave them will know the stars and peace someday. Forgive me, my child, my wife for not fulfilling my duty to you, for failing you and my home, but may all my blessings go with you.

I'jol-au,

(I love you)

Alidar Jarok

Jarok placed the letter on the sideboard and then looked out one last time at the stars glittering so seemingly near.

What will I leave behind me? Will my daughter despite my failure one day see the stars through clear eyes?

It has all been in vain, he thought, but perhaps there is still hope. The stars were unfamiliar to him and yet then they offered him some peace.

Perhaps someday his child would look out at these stars and know them as he did not. He took some comfort in that thought.

The stars twinkled in the darkness, but this time Jarok's eyes did not tear. He held one hand out to the stars and spoke clearly.

"I speak my last statement as criminal, exiled from Romulus. I acknowledge my treachery and humble myself before the rulings. I did not do it out of treachery. I did it out of the hope that we would all one day see the same stars. I did it for the love of my daughter. Forgive me my failings. This concludes my Right of Statement."

He looked out then and after a moment down at the small felodesine chip and then reaching one hand out to the stars whispered,

"Jolan'tru."

He swallowed the chip and then lay down on the bed turning his head slightly so he was looking out the window and the starlight was bathing his face.

He closed his eyes and whispered to himself, "Mosekhesai rau."

"Forgive me."


End file.
